Today has been a killer! Lorelai is being a proper 2.5 year old at the moment and ARGH! For some reason she is constantly tired, even after a good night sleep. She drinks plenty and she is starting to eat good again (her eating has always been on and off, even when she was on milk..) We had a really nice day planned for her - trip to the local lake to feed ducks, play ground and picnic, but no she just wouldn't do as she was told so i told her to cut it or we wouldn't go. She did behave for about 30 mins but then all hell broke loose when i asked her to pick her toys up so we ended up staying at home.
Can't wait for her to get out of this stage, really starting to miss my happy girl. She is so well behaved when she is out with nanny, in nursery etc but as soon as we are home she acts up. I know it's just her age but gaarh!
So much have happened in her life the last year and she's taken it ever so good. But since i became pregnant with Caroline i feel like i have lost more and more of my big girl. I was in and out of hospital a lot during the pregnancy and had to stay in after the birth as it ended up in emergency section and i became anemic afterwards.
Right, on the 28th of August 2012 i took a pregnancy test late afternoon/early evening, i had this feeling that i was pregnant and sure enough the first test came back positive. Well i thought i was positive, very very faint but a positive is a positive. Next morning i took a clear blue test and it came back positive 1-2 weeks. My first reaction was "oh fuck! this is really gonna happen!!" We had been trying for more than a year to conceive but as nothing happened i gave up the thought of having more kids than Lorelai and starting selling all of the baby stuff we had saved. We moved from a fairly big flat to a SMALL house, very small house.. 1.5 month later i was pregnant lol!
Anyway the pregnancy sickness started straight off, i was feeling a bit off a week before i took the first test. I went off meat, eggs, bread etc, barely ate and was so tired. Around 19 weeks pregnant i had a kidney attack, never have i been in so much pain. At tea time that day i started feeling more sick than normally i had two spoonful of my rice/veggies dice and went straight for the toilet. We both thought it was just the pregnancy kicking in even more but around 22/23 i think it was i got a really sharp pain around my kidney on the right side. Few weeks before this i had been at the dr's due to a pain around the same area, she thought i was constipated so i got fibergel and lactolose - it did help a bit and i thought the slight pain i had was just everything stretching. Back to the night i went into hospital - at midnight the pain was unbelievable and i couldn't hold it together anymore, by now N had phoned out of hours to get some advise and get a dr out to have a look at me. I had been throwing up all night so i was getting even more tired and started to shake. N got told to ring 999 and get me straight to hospital - it took 4 HOURS for an ambulance to turn up and then two came.. N phoned 999 three times to hear wtf was going on. We got told due to the weather (it was mid december) it would come when it could and as it didn't sounded like it was a matter of life and death i wouldn't be the first they would attend to. When they finally came they could see i needed the hospital and something to take the pain quickly. I was still throwing up and was now laying on the sofa half naked in my own state of mind.
They handed me gas and air and within a few sucks i was back to being able to speak and breath without pain. The 30 mins it took before i was dressed and loaded into the ambulance i managed to use the whole cylinder off gas and air thankfully the other ambulance now turned up and they had an extra so they were kind enough to had it over. Off we went, N stayed home with Lorelai as i didn't want her to be woken up and dragged out of bed in the early hours of the morning when they could come up after i had been seen by the dr etc.
As we arrived at the hospital i had used the next cylinder but no one would listen to me when i told them it was empty and the pain increased again. That night of course the a&e was fully booked and busy as anything. I got put in a cube, handed some morphine and more gas and air and left to it - there i was, all alone, scared to death and it took hours before i was seeing by a dr. The nurse wasn't very nice and they had no clue i was pregnant until someone looked at my file - at this point i had been in the a&e for about 4 hours, i got sent straight to gyn. ward where they managed to get my pain under control with a lot of drugs.
I had a scan of my kidney but it showed nothing, my urine showed a higher count of white bloodcells but that was it, so they treated me for a kidney infection and said it could have been a small stone passing through too. I stayed in for 4 days before i was comfortable enough to go home. From here on it just went downhill. I got even more sick, was throwing up daily and i got no idea how many times i saw the gp. The pain was held under control with codeine, tramadol, morphine etc. At one point nothing helped and after a few more visits to the hospital where i got flogged off with mussel pain go home and take paracetamol it became clear to us it was something much more serious.
One night i was in so much pain i was sat in the bathtub in almost boiling water to calm the pain high on tramadol, morphine and was drinking so much water to flush myself through as we thought i was another stone passing by.
Next day i went to the gp again, showed him the blood and he took another urine test which showed blood too. When pregnant that's not good. He sent it off to the hospital for testing as he had done with so many test from me. It showed nothing. I was treated with 5 different antibiotics before he one day thought of one other infection. A rare infection but it could be. By this time we had to swop gp as the one we had retired. He passed on his note to the new dr and when i came in a few days later he asked us very calmly if we knew of something called pseudomonas. I had no clue what he was talking about nor did N. Anyway he told us they would test my urine for it and he would let me know the next day. I was very very sick by now and as soon as we came home i was straight in bed and stayed there. N started to research about this pseudomonas and found out it was a life threatening infection.
The next day i was even more sick than the day before. Not even water was staying down. The gp phoned as agreed and i told him how the last 24 hours had been, he told me he would phone back a few hours later as the result wasn't in yet. And he did but by this time i was to sick to speak and N and him agreed i needed to go back into hospital to get fluid in me and they would have to start me on some kind of treatment to kill what ever was starting to break me down.
Caroline was doing fine all the way through this and she didn't take any harm what so ever of all the things i got stuffed full off.
Two days later it was confirmed i was suffering from pseudomonas and i was lucky. If we had waited just one more week it would have spread to my blood stream and gut and it would have been fatal Not just for Caroline but for me.
I sat down crying when they told me it was pseudomonas, not because i got scared, but such a massive weight had been lifted of me and i could finally tell family and friends what was wrong with me.
We got told i had to stay in for at least two weeks which broke me, i broke out in tears and chock and begged them to find some way for me to get home and still have treatment. And they did, somehow they got the local nurses to come out three times a day for two weeks to give me antibiotics through IV. The staff at the hospital worked all night to make sure it could happen.
So for the next to weeks i was housebound with an iv in me. I went out three times to do small shopping and to get some air.
After being tested and they told me the pseudomonas was gone, i somehow got GBS. I could only laugh at it, this whole thing had been extremely stressful for not just me but N too. Somehow it made us stronger, it made us both realise everything can end so fast. I have been lucky, very very lucky. I don't think everyone around us know how serious this have been. I lost someone who i thought was a good friends as she called me a liar and she told me i made it all up.
It took me a long time to come around to how close a call it was and it still seems so unreal.
I don't dare to think what could have happened if we hadn't pushed the gp and if the gp hadn't pushed the hospital. If i had taken the advise form the dr at the hospital who sent me home with mussel pain, if i had ignored the blood.This same dr told me i was fat, lazy and was eating the wrong foods - reason why she said this 1. mmy mother in law had been to visit me and had left a packet of crisps for Lorelai on my table. When N and Lorelai came Lorelai had a twixbar which she put thw wrapper on my table next to the crisps. 2 i didn't walk around on the ward as i was in a lot of pain still even with all the drugs they were giving me 3 i was/am a bit bigger than i should be but not overly fat and floppy. Lets just say this dr was not wanted in the room when i went into labour.
I am blessed, not just with the family i have with N, but with the gp who believed me and the nurses who agreed to come to my home and treat me. I am blessed my mother in law took her time to stay with me in hospital when N had to stay at home with Lorelai, who stood up for me and told the nurses straight every time they tried to sent me home without listening to me.
So please, if you know you are sick but they can't figure out why, please do not give up. Keep pushing them, be a pain in the butt for them, it's their job to figure it out. I don't wish for my worst enemy they have to go through what i went through with this pregnancy.
I lost over 2 st due to being ill.
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