Today has been... how to put it... an eye opener for me.. The morning started quite good. Caroline woke at 5.30 and we snuggled up in bed after a feed, Lorelai came in around 8 i think and snuggled up with us. Around 9ish i started getting the girls dressed and changed etc. N took Lorelai down for breakfast while i was sat waiting for Caroline to fill her draws lol!
Came down, had coffee and breakfast and started paying bills. Our phone bill looked a bit off and when i tried explaining it to N and he didn't get it after 4th time i started crying. Over a flipping phone bill. I think it chocked N and he didn't really know how to react. I feel silly now for reacting as i did but i just couldn't help it. I felt so stupid and like it was my fault the phone bill looked wrong.
After this i finished paying the rest of our bills for this week coming and we went off shopping - Lorelai was so well behaved shopping today and Caroline been ever so easy.
We are finally finding a good routine with both kids, sleep, eating etc. We even had them in the bath together today. Was such a joy and they both enjoyed it.
Right now they are both sleeping, must be time for a feed soon though. I feel so lucky, really lucky..
I realised living with PND is going to be hard, controlling my feelings etc. I'm hoping the tablets is going to help me or it's going to be really hard. I am trying not to let my feelings take over when Lorelai is getting a bit to annoying or keep asking the same thing 100000 times.. N is taking it fairly good and he is trying to step very carefully when i'm having a bad day but my mood can suddenly change and i feel so awful afterwards. Guessing it's quite normal..
Seeing GP again next week to discuss the tablets and what to do next and how to deal with it..
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